August 29, 2010
LIFE EXPLAINED, PART 734
Few men enjoy opera, ballet or sappy romantic comedies, but endure them for their women. Don't go hog wild with the praise or she'll know you're full of shit and there goes football season. Just go with the program.
100,000 IDIOTS ON AMERICA'S LAWN
So, Glen Beck had his faux civil rights rally, gathering the faithful on America's Lawn on the promenade in front of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. 1000,000 Tea Party and Glen Beck fans showed up. In other words, 100,000 morons. On the 47th anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I had a dream" speech held in the exact spot, no less.
Doctor King's speech was a watershed moment in American history, while Beck's was more of an irritating sweat stain on our collective armpits. Glen even claimed to be King's "brother." If so, then he has to be the Fredo of the King brothers
Beck and the Tea Party were never people with ideas, instead content to be angry all the time and attack other people and their ideas. Now Beck and his Tea Party fans finally come up with an idea, this rally, called "A Rededication of America," a golden opportunity to showcase whatever policies they were able to come up with, and guess what, the only thing they could think of was a violation of the United States Constitution and the laws of the land.
Normally, the prudent course of events would be to formulate some serious ideas and policies, and then hold your rally. Even if it's only one big idea, something to stir things up socially and politically, that would be fine too.
Their big idea? Turning America into Iran, Christian Fascist style. Beck put it like this: "America today turns back to God." Oh, really? If he's talking about the same country the rest of us live in, The United States of America, he was calling for a return to a special time in American history that... never happened! From its very beginnings in the late 1700s, America put religion in its proper place, far from the halls of government.
Dr. King, who was an ordained Baptist minister, never tied the Civil Rights Movement to his or anybody else's church, and borrowed his non-violent tactics from a Hindu, one Mohandes K. Gandhi, to achieve his goals. He instead relied on the words of our Founding Fathers and challenged America to be America for every citizen. It cost him his life, but it worked.
Our Founding Fathers, none of them particularly religious people, had seen first-hand the bloody results of state-sponsored religion, and were having none of it for their brand new nation. They stated simply that Congress shall pass no laws concerning religion, rendering it a private matter for citizens to deal with, or not deal with, as they saw fit. Any and all faiths were welcome to flourish in the United States, but none of them were allowed to have a say in governing the nation.
Which didn't stop certain Americans far too insecure in their own faith from trying to persecute other religions, most notably the waves of Catholic immigrants who came to America in the late 1800s and early 1900's, bringing with them the "Papist Scourge." Jewish immigrants were also treated to this lapse of hospitality.
Both groups petty much ignored the bigots and went about their business, confident that the Constitution protected their right to pray and worship as they saw fit. Of course they were correct and the bigots are forgotten by history, while these immigrants have all left their indelible marks on America. They built and ran this place as we now know it and their descendants continue to flourish, having produced war and peace heroes, Nobel laureates, poets and titans of both politics and industry.
America itself flourished with this infusion of new blood, offering an unprecedented quality of life for the working classes unmatched before or since in history. Not having a useless and demanding monarchy or a rapacious official religion to support removed a huge social barrier from humanity. Outstanding individuals and hard workers could and did climb the social ladder, something almost impossible in the monarchies and theocracies that dominated the earth in the not-so-disptant past.
There are still plenty of such nations around, staining the landscape of their regions and oppressing their own people, and now Glen Beck and the Tea Party want America to join these backwards assholes and "turn to God." Turning away from God, or at least rendering Him a private citizen, is what enabled America to build the best hope for humanity the world has ever had, and to build history's biggest economy.
While the Tea Party has never been renowned for its ideas, what with most of them being Sarah Palin addicts and complete morons, at least they attracted the attention of a lot of people who liked the notion of a new political party, any party, just to wake up the Democrats and Republicans who figured they had a monopoly on politics in this country.
The whole idea was exciting, at least for about 5 minutes.Then one of the Tea Partiers opened their mouth and all that came out was horseshit. Dang! Then came the revelation that the Tea Party isn't a separate political party at all, but a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Republican Party, Inc.
Apparently one of those notorious closet-queen Republican operatives came up with this ruse in response to having their party unceremoniously dumped from power in 2008, figuring Americans are really, really stupid. Stupid people have long been the bread and butter of the Republicans, people who can be regularly fooled into voting against their own interests.
In years past, the Republicans employed really smart people to sell others on the notion that what is right for the super-wealthy and the giant corporations is right for America. They've elected some terrible presidents with that idea, but the last time around they got too cocky and installed a semi-literate bumbler as a figurehead president and just had Dick Cheney run the show.
The fact that they did this so openly and led the nation into one disaster after another is what got them ousted in 2008. Americans don't like dictators, and were doubly insulted that our first-ever dictator was Shotgun Dick Cheney, as unlikable a human being as has ever breathed with the aid of replacement parts, like some bald and dumpy Darth Vader without the cool swagger.
So naturally you'd think that the rank-and-file Republicans would protest and go off to form their own party. Too bad for America that the only serious recent attempt at forming a 3d political party turned out to be another phony sideshow from the Republican Dirty Tricks Department. The only "leaders" it attracted were Glen Beck and Sarah Palin, two seriously unhinged individuals who are also both as dumb as your average Cocker Spaniel.
Imagine being a follower of someone like that? Wow! The mind boggles at having as your leader someone who has never made a lick of sense and never sustained an ideology they did not contradict time and again whenever convenient. On Saturday in Washington, no agenda was proposed, no famous speeches made or memorable phrases etched into American political lore.
What was it all about? Who the hell knows with these pinheads? Let's just hope that this whole "return to God" crap doesn't become what so many other public petitions to God have become, a bloodbath for some poor saps practicing the "wrong religion." For now, Beck and Palin resume their lucrative careers of trashing other people's ideas, figuring that ideas are things they never have, so it must be wrong to have one. Ask Fredo what it all means.
Doctor King's speech was a watershed moment in American history, while Beck's was more of an irritating sweat stain on our collective armpits. Glen even claimed to be King's "brother." If so, then he has to be the Fredo of the King brothers
Beck and the Tea Party were never people with ideas, instead content to be angry all the time and attack other people and their ideas. Now Beck and his Tea Party fans finally come up with an idea, this rally, called "A Rededication of America," a golden opportunity to showcase whatever policies they were able to come up with, and guess what, the only thing they could think of was a violation of the United States Constitution and the laws of the land.
Normally, the prudent course of events would be to formulate some serious ideas and policies, and then hold your rally. Even if it's only one big idea, something to stir things up socially and politically, that would be fine too.
Their big idea? Turning America into Iran, Christian Fascist style. Beck put it like this: "America today turns back to God." Oh, really? If he's talking about the same country the rest of us live in, The United States of America, he was calling for a return to a special time in American history that... never happened! From its very beginnings in the late 1700s, America put religion in its proper place, far from the halls of government.
Dr. King, who was an ordained Baptist minister, never tied the Civil Rights Movement to his or anybody else's church, and borrowed his non-violent tactics from a Hindu, one Mohandes K. Gandhi, to achieve his goals. He instead relied on the words of our Founding Fathers and challenged America to be America for every citizen. It cost him his life, but it worked.
Our Founding Fathers, none of them particularly religious people, had seen first-hand the bloody results of state-sponsored religion, and were having none of it for their brand new nation. They stated simply that Congress shall pass no laws concerning religion, rendering it a private matter for citizens to deal with, or not deal with, as they saw fit. Any and all faiths were welcome to flourish in the United States, but none of them were allowed to have a say in governing the nation.
Which didn't stop certain Americans far too insecure in their own faith from trying to persecute other religions, most notably the waves of Catholic immigrants who came to America in the late 1800s and early 1900's, bringing with them the "Papist Scourge." Jewish immigrants were also treated to this lapse of hospitality.
Both groups petty much ignored the bigots and went about their business, confident that the Constitution protected their right to pray and worship as they saw fit. Of course they were correct and the bigots are forgotten by history, while these immigrants have all left their indelible marks on America. They built and ran this place as we now know it and their descendants continue to flourish, having produced war and peace heroes, Nobel laureates, poets and titans of both politics and industry.
America itself flourished with this infusion of new blood, offering an unprecedented quality of life for the working classes unmatched before or since in history. Not having a useless and demanding monarchy or a rapacious official religion to support removed a huge social barrier from humanity. Outstanding individuals and hard workers could and did climb the social ladder, something almost impossible in the monarchies and theocracies that dominated the earth in the not-so-disptant past.
There are still plenty of such nations around, staining the landscape of their regions and oppressing their own people, and now Glen Beck and the Tea Party want America to join these backwards assholes and "turn to God." Turning away from God, or at least rendering Him a private citizen, is what enabled America to build the best hope for humanity the world has ever had, and to build history's biggest economy.
While the Tea Party has never been renowned for its ideas, what with most of them being Sarah Palin addicts and complete morons, at least they attracted the attention of a lot of people who liked the notion of a new political party, any party, just to wake up the Democrats and Republicans who figured they had a monopoly on politics in this country.
The whole idea was exciting, at least for about 5 minutes.Then one of the Tea Partiers opened their mouth and all that came out was horseshit. Dang! Then came the revelation that the Tea Party isn't a separate political party at all, but a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Republican Party, Inc.
Apparently one of those notorious closet-queen Republican operatives came up with this ruse in response to having their party unceremoniously dumped from power in 2008, figuring Americans are really, really stupid. Stupid people have long been the bread and butter of the Republicans, people who can be regularly fooled into voting against their own interests.
In years past, the Republicans employed really smart people to sell others on the notion that what is right for the super-wealthy and the giant corporations is right for America. They've elected some terrible presidents with that idea, but the last time around they got too cocky and installed a semi-literate bumbler as a figurehead president and just had Dick Cheney run the show.
The fact that they did this so openly and led the nation into one disaster after another is what got them ousted in 2008. Americans don't like dictators, and were doubly insulted that our first-ever dictator was Shotgun Dick Cheney, as unlikable a human being as has ever breathed with the aid of replacement parts, like some bald and dumpy Darth Vader without the cool swagger.
So naturally you'd think that the rank-and-file Republicans would protest and go off to form their own party. Too bad for America that the only serious recent attempt at forming a 3d political party turned out to be another phony sideshow from the Republican Dirty Tricks Department. The only "leaders" it attracted were Glen Beck and Sarah Palin, two seriously unhinged individuals who are also both as dumb as your average Cocker Spaniel.
Imagine being a follower of someone like that? Wow! The mind boggles at having as your leader someone who has never made a lick of sense and never sustained an ideology they did not contradict time and again whenever convenient. On Saturday in Washington, no agenda was proposed, no famous speeches made or memorable phrases etched into American political lore.
What was it all about? Who the hell knows with these pinheads? Let's just hope that this whole "return to God" crap doesn't become what so many other public petitions to God have become, a bloodbath for some poor saps practicing the "wrong religion." For now, Beck and Palin resume their lucrative careers of trashing other people's ideas, figuring that ideas are things they never have, so it must be wrong to have one. Ask Fredo what it all means.
August 26, 2010
LIFE EXPLAINED, PART 733
Somewhere along the line someone will try to maneuver you into denying what you believe to justify their own hateful nonsense. Tell them nice try, but you're smarter than that, and they're on their own with the evil bullshit.
DO THE SOCIAL DISCONNECT (NON)DANCE
Now that people are accustomed to communicating with one another almost exclusively via electronic devices, even within the same room, it makes some sort of perverted sense that Internet companies are now negotiating with Little League Baseball to install web cameras at these children's games so their parents can watch the action on their computers.
Now all they have to do is come up with a computer to play catch with your kid and you'll never have to see the little brat in person again, and our social disconnect will be complete.
Are we that friggin' busy these days that we have no time at all for one another, not even our own children? Nobody's even working anymore since the damned bankers stole all the money! What's the excuse now?
"Daddy can't make it to your game, son. I'll be too busy talking to my 378 very close pals on Facebook, twittering my profound political insights 140 characters at a time to the Huff and Puff Post feedback blog, and then I'm scheduled to blow your college fund on e-Trade. But don't worry, I'll catch the game on Hulu in the middle of the night."
You then set your computer to remind you to text your child an attagirl or a way to go, son! and go back to your devices.
And it's not just Americans hooked on our Captain Kirk communication devices. The German government had to pass a law prohibiting potential employers from using job applicants' Facebook pages to judge their characters, or lack of same. What ever happened to interviewing somebody?
One can only assume that the interviewers are also unaccustomed to meeting people in person, and so have no idea how be a judge of character except by peeking at their virtual footprints on various Internet websites, which technically, do not even exist. Look up the word "virtual" some time.
Can't we face one another anymore? Can't we size up another human being in the flesh? How many young people grow up hunched over some electronic piece of crap playing some piece of crap game or texting their clueless friends about every half-formed thought that pops into their flabby brains?
Many seldom speak, and when they do it is usually some inarticulate code that doesn't make much sense, so you tune them out, they get frustrated and bend back over their little electronic pieces of crap with a vengeance and the evening's conversation is over before it began.
The internet has brought us the greatest source of information ever compiled and the convenience of shopping at home for goods and services available across the planet or across the street. It has been a blessing and a curse rolled into one, sort of like television in the 1950's, a huge what might have been.
Local stores and the friendly local people that work in them are disappearing and nobody knows anyone in their own neighborhood anymore. That's not because people moved away, it's because people are leaving their homes less and less and have no idea how to relate to other human beings. People are trickier and far more unpredictable than our electronic devices, and cannot be controlled or manipulated so easily.
No wonder there's things like road rage, where people are caught in traffic that does respond to keyboard commands and cannot be shut down, and so they lose control of themselves and lash out violently at other people, people they don't consider any more "real" than the animated apparitions in their piece of crap video games. Why not shoot or maim apparitions?
Worst of all, there's no record stores left since the wonderful product they sold has been replaced by electronic digital downloads, not the same feeling as leaving a record store with your own copy of "Exile On Main Street."
Who do young people talk to about new artists or exciting new musical trends? Do they even dance anymore on the odd occasions when they are physically in one another's presence? They sure don't speak much. How do they pair up in boyfriend/girlfriend pairs, according to which cell phone company they use?
Good thing these kids' hormones are churning away or they'd never mingle with other human beings and the species would die out in a single generation. It's ironic that all our electronic devices designed to bring us all together are driving us apart. We are raising a Disconnected Generation.
Now all they have to do is come up with a computer to play catch with your kid and you'll never have to see the little brat in person again, and our social disconnect will be complete.
Are we that friggin' busy these days that we have no time at all for one another, not even our own children? Nobody's even working anymore since the damned bankers stole all the money! What's the excuse now?
"Daddy can't make it to your game, son. I'll be too busy talking to my 378 very close pals on Facebook, twittering my profound political insights 140 characters at a time to the Huff and Puff Post feedback blog, and then I'm scheduled to blow your college fund on e-Trade. But don't worry, I'll catch the game on Hulu in the middle of the night."
You then set your computer to remind you to text your child an attagirl or a way to go, son! and go back to your devices.
And it's not just Americans hooked on our Captain Kirk communication devices. The German government had to pass a law prohibiting potential employers from using job applicants' Facebook pages to judge their characters, or lack of same. What ever happened to interviewing somebody?
One can only assume that the interviewers are also unaccustomed to meeting people in person, and so have no idea how be a judge of character except by peeking at their virtual footprints on various Internet websites, which technically, do not even exist. Look up the word "virtual" some time.
Can't we face one another anymore? Can't we size up another human being in the flesh? How many young people grow up hunched over some electronic piece of crap playing some piece of crap game or texting their clueless friends about every half-formed thought that pops into their flabby brains?
Many seldom speak, and when they do it is usually some inarticulate code that doesn't make much sense, so you tune them out, they get frustrated and bend back over their little electronic pieces of crap with a vengeance and the evening's conversation is over before it began.
The internet has brought us the greatest source of information ever compiled and the convenience of shopping at home for goods and services available across the planet or across the street. It has been a blessing and a curse rolled into one, sort of like television in the 1950's, a huge what might have been.
Local stores and the friendly local people that work in them are disappearing and nobody knows anyone in their own neighborhood anymore. That's not because people moved away, it's because people are leaving their homes less and less and have no idea how to relate to other human beings. People are trickier and far more unpredictable than our electronic devices, and cannot be controlled or manipulated so easily.
No wonder there's things like road rage, where people are caught in traffic that does respond to keyboard commands and cannot be shut down, and so they lose control of themselves and lash out violently at other people, people they don't consider any more "real" than the animated apparitions in their piece of crap video games. Why not shoot or maim apparitions?
Worst of all, there's no record stores left since the wonderful product they sold has been replaced by electronic digital downloads, not the same feeling as leaving a record store with your own copy of "Exile On Main Street."
Who do young people talk to about new artists or exciting new musical trends? Do they even dance anymore on the odd occasions when they are physically in one another's presence? They sure don't speak much. How do they pair up in boyfriend/girlfriend pairs, according to which cell phone company they use?
Good thing these kids' hormones are churning away or they'd never mingle with other human beings and the species would die out in a single generation. It's ironic that all our electronic devices designed to bring us all together are driving us apart. We are raising a Disconnected Generation.
August 21, 2010
THE HALLOWED GROUND BUSINESS
So this dopey mosque issue near the site of the World Trade Center atrocity has the whole friggin' country up in arms now, even people who never stepped foot in New York City, long-distance carpetbaggers claiming "hallowed ground" they've never seen, either before or after the 9/11 attack, much less bought a falafel from one of the local Muslim street vendors.
Tourists still pack the area, every one of them wanting to take a peek at Ground Zero to try to understand what it was like, to reconcile the horrific news footage seared into the whole world's mind. In a sense, they have a powerful claim on Ground Zero, and a very real connection, both Americans and foreigners.
While New Yorkers endured the attack and lost so many, what we forget is that the rest of the world stood still that day, numb and disbelieving, riveted to the images of the capitol of Earth being so shockingly and devastatingly attacked. There were no other headlines or lead stories anywhere that day.
The jets crashing, the towers burning, people jumping 100 stories to their deaths, and the final, stunning twin collapses were followed in real time everywhere, and everyone stopped whatever they were doing to watch in disbelief. It was a day that will go down in history for as long as there is history.
The nearly 3,000 deaths were far lower than originally estimated, thanks to hundreds of fire fighters, police officers and many others who sacrificed their own lives to perform the greatest evacuation and rescue operation since Dunkirk. Ten times that number was considered a conservative estimate that day, when no one anywhere seemed to know exactly what was going on.
The New York City government was nearly crippled and very little real information was forthcoming, only scattered pronouncements and speculation on the part of the news media, and this went on for most of the day. The president was flying around incognito somewhere and the vice president took over, lower Manhattan was disaster area and cell phone service was knocked out.
Rumors of a dozen or more such jets were rampant, and the Air Force was reportedly hunting hijacked aircraft with missiles. The Pentagon was in flames and the crash landing of the 4th jet in Pennsylvania was thought to be caused by our military. The uncertainty and chaos was terrifying.
A whole lot of people had a loved one who worked in the area, and the TV footage looked like no one could have survived anywhere near the collapsing towers. No one panicked but tension and confusion were everywhere, and a feeling of helplessness. So many wanted to help, to do something, but only police, firefighters and proven rescue experts were allowed near the site.
The city held its breath and waited for their land lines to ring. There were block-long lines for pay phones in Manhattan, people waiting to call their families to tell them they were okay, and to please call everyone else, there's people waiting. Three thousand families never got that call.
We mourned our dead and still feel their loss. Wars were started to avenge them, grand pavilions planned in their memory. Services are held on each anniversary, and the wound still feels fresh. For most, there were little or no remains, loved ones incinerated to dust. Ground Zero is the only grave they will ever know.
Too bad these victims have now become political footballs, their memorial still unbuilt while their spirits are invoked by cynical fools with political ambitions. This has been going on for years, and now we have this media-driven madness over a planned mosque 2 blocks from Ground Zero, right down the street from the Ground Zero strip club, a place where presumably mourners can receive some measure of solace with a lap dance from a naked young lady. To each his own, no?
The story grows more bizarre when it is revealed that the location of the mosque was actually picked by 19-year old immigrant from Colombia who was hired by the developer after appearing on a reality show. His job was to scout locations for the mosque and he found the Burlington Coat Factory building to be vacant and available.
The deal was consummated and plans made to build the mosque as something called an "Islamic Center," a combination house of worship and community outreach facility. Lord knows that Islam could use some good PR right about now, and the hysterical reaction to their project only underscores that. Anti-Muslim sentiment has poured out of every corner of this nation, even from people who detest New York City and the big umbrella melting pot it stands for.
Unclear so far is exactly who is providing the funds for this piece of downtown Manhattan real estate, where every square inch of space is worth a large fortune, even in this depressed economy. Few believe that the Muslim street vendors are footing the bill from the proceeds from the sale of bananas, couscous and souvenirs. This is a big money venture and will require hundreds of millions of dollars to complete. Who's paying?
While the Imam in charge says he will raise funds from local Muslims and bond offerings, there are rumors of Iranian and Saudi Arabian funding, making the whole thing even more suspect. These are legitimate concerns, potentially dangerous political concerns having little to do with Islam and everything to do with provocation.
Is this what's happening? Can we be sure? Anyone on the ball with finding that out before we start messing with the Bill of Rights? It's always the Bill of Rights that stands to take a hit in times like these, with no shortage of media fools and elected politicians sworn to uphold the United States Constitution openly in favor of violating it because a distasteful religion is ruining the neighborhood and the Hallowed Ground trade.
For a story invented and fueled by the media, there are few hard facts available. That's how out of practice our news media is with journalism, that they can't even find out the facts on a story they invented. They seem content to report on the shit storm they have created to fill the slow news cycles of Summertime and feel no obligation to dig for facts.
Small wonder fewer and fewer people trust the mainstream media. The impact on New Yorkers' daily lives by the building of this mosque will be nonexistent. We're already tripping over a thousand and one houses of worship of every imaginable denomination, barely noticing them as we go about our business.
People swiftly got over the Mormons' building a tabernacle near Times Square, and nobody likes Mormons all that much, not even their fellow Mormons if you follow their soap opera saga in the news with the lucrative sales of underage teenaged brides to lumpy old Chesters. Times Square survived, and so will Ground Zero.
Few people will bother to notice another temple to a God we all claim as our own as we go about our day-to-day business doing whatever the hell we feel like. Most Americans figure church is for women and religion is for teaching kids right from wrong. That's not what we say about our various faiths, of course, but what we do, the truer measure of intent.
In Islam, like Judaism, it is the men who take the lead in practicing their faith, something that makes many Americans uncomfortable. That whole 5-times-a-day praying seems excessive and unseemly, even without the bad press Islam gets from terrorists and religious tyrants.
The fact that Islam is just one more dumbass religion designed to annoy the crap out its believers by giving them a whole lot to do on top of having to live their lives is forgotten in this war of words. Life is hard enough without God, but almost unbearable with Him, because now people feel obligated to defend their faith and attack the faith of others, not once stopping to think that every faith is founded on some pretty tall friggin' tales.
That's why they are called faiths and not The Jewish Fact, the Christian Fact or the Muslim Fact. None of them can stand up to a reality check or ever be proven. Our arguments about God and religion are transparent excuses to dominate one another along tribal lines and to vent our hatred of others. God has always been a handy tool to further these aims.
This Mosque on Hallowed Ground business is just one more example of people using God as an excuse to act like hateful assholes. The 3,000 victims of this religious warfare deserve better. They were real people with real lives and real families, not abstract concepts to be cynically used for our endless debates over the improbable and unprovable. Who cares who builds what sort of shrine where or who they pray to or how? That's private.
Tourists still pack the area, every one of them wanting to take a peek at Ground Zero to try to understand what it was like, to reconcile the horrific news footage seared into the whole world's mind. In a sense, they have a powerful claim on Ground Zero, and a very real connection, both Americans and foreigners.
While New Yorkers endured the attack and lost so many, what we forget is that the rest of the world stood still that day, numb and disbelieving, riveted to the images of the capitol of Earth being so shockingly and devastatingly attacked. There were no other headlines or lead stories anywhere that day.
The jets crashing, the towers burning, people jumping 100 stories to their deaths, and the final, stunning twin collapses were followed in real time everywhere, and everyone stopped whatever they were doing to watch in disbelief. It was a day that will go down in history for as long as there is history.
The nearly 3,000 deaths were far lower than originally estimated, thanks to hundreds of fire fighters, police officers and many others who sacrificed their own lives to perform the greatest evacuation and rescue operation since Dunkirk. Ten times that number was considered a conservative estimate that day, when no one anywhere seemed to know exactly what was going on.
The New York City government was nearly crippled and very little real information was forthcoming, only scattered pronouncements and speculation on the part of the news media, and this went on for most of the day. The president was flying around incognito somewhere and the vice president took over, lower Manhattan was disaster area and cell phone service was knocked out.
Rumors of a dozen or more such jets were rampant, and the Air Force was reportedly hunting hijacked aircraft with missiles. The Pentagon was in flames and the crash landing of the 4th jet in Pennsylvania was thought to be caused by our military. The uncertainty and chaos was terrifying.
A whole lot of people had a loved one who worked in the area, and the TV footage looked like no one could have survived anywhere near the collapsing towers. No one panicked but tension and confusion were everywhere, and a feeling of helplessness. So many wanted to help, to do something, but only police, firefighters and proven rescue experts were allowed near the site.
The city held its breath and waited for their land lines to ring. There were block-long lines for pay phones in Manhattan, people waiting to call their families to tell them they were okay, and to please call everyone else, there's people waiting. Three thousand families never got that call.
We mourned our dead and still feel their loss. Wars were started to avenge them, grand pavilions planned in their memory. Services are held on each anniversary, and the wound still feels fresh. For most, there were little or no remains, loved ones incinerated to dust. Ground Zero is the only grave they will ever know.
Too bad these victims have now become political footballs, their memorial still unbuilt while their spirits are invoked by cynical fools with political ambitions. This has been going on for years, and now we have this media-driven madness over a planned mosque 2 blocks from Ground Zero, right down the street from the Ground Zero strip club, a place where presumably mourners can receive some measure of solace with a lap dance from a naked young lady. To each his own, no?
The story grows more bizarre when it is revealed that the location of the mosque was actually picked by 19-year old immigrant from Colombia who was hired by the developer after appearing on a reality show. His job was to scout locations for the mosque and he found the Burlington Coat Factory building to be vacant and available.
The deal was consummated and plans made to build the mosque as something called an "Islamic Center," a combination house of worship and community outreach facility. Lord knows that Islam could use some good PR right about now, and the hysterical reaction to their project only underscores that. Anti-Muslim sentiment has poured out of every corner of this nation, even from people who detest New York City and the big umbrella melting pot it stands for.
Unclear so far is exactly who is providing the funds for this piece of downtown Manhattan real estate, where every square inch of space is worth a large fortune, even in this depressed economy. Few believe that the Muslim street vendors are footing the bill from the proceeds from the sale of bananas, couscous and souvenirs. This is a big money venture and will require hundreds of millions of dollars to complete. Who's paying?
While the Imam in charge says he will raise funds from local Muslims and bond offerings, there are rumors of Iranian and Saudi Arabian funding, making the whole thing even more suspect. These are legitimate concerns, potentially dangerous political concerns having little to do with Islam and everything to do with provocation.
Is this what's happening? Can we be sure? Anyone on the ball with finding that out before we start messing with the Bill of Rights? It's always the Bill of Rights that stands to take a hit in times like these, with no shortage of media fools and elected politicians sworn to uphold the United States Constitution openly in favor of violating it because a distasteful religion is ruining the neighborhood and the Hallowed Ground trade.
For a story invented and fueled by the media, there are few hard facts available. That's how out of practice our news media is with journalism, that they can't even find out the facts on a story they invented. They seem content to report on the shit storm they have created to fill the slow news cycles of Summertime and feel no obligation to dig for facts.
Small wonder fewer and fewer people trust the mainstream media. The impact on New Yorkers' daily lives by the building of this mosque will be nonexistent. We're already tripping over a thousand and one houses of worship of every imaginable denomination, barely noticing them as we go about our business.
People swiftly got over the Mormons' building a tabernacle near Times Square, and nobody likes Mormons all that much, not even their fellow Mormons if you follow their soap opera saga in the news with the lucrative sales of underage teenaged brides to lumpy old Chesters. Times Square survived, and so will Ground Zero.
Few people will bother to notice another temple to a God we all claim as our own as we go about our day-to-day business doing whatever the hell we feel like. Most Americans figure church is for women and religion is for teaching kids right from wrong. That's not what we say about our various faiths, of course, but what we do, the truer measure of intent.
In Islam, like Judaism, it is the men who take the lead in practicing their faith, something that makes many Americans uncomfortable. That whole 5-times-a-day praying seems excessive and unseemly, even without the bad press Islam gets from terrorists and religious tyrants.
The fact that Islam is just one more dumbass religion designed to annoy the crap out its believers by giving them a whole lot to do on top of having to live their lives is forgotten in this war of words. Life is hard enough without God, but almost unbearable with Him, because now people feel obligated to defend their faith and attack the faith of others, not once stopping to think that every faith is founded on some pretty tall friggin' tales.
That's why they are called faiths and not The Jewish Fact, the Christian Fact or the Muslim Fact. None of them can stand up to a reality check or ever be proven. Our arguments about God and religion are transparent excuses to dominate one another along tribal lines and to vent our hatred of others. God has always been a handy tool to further these aims.
This Mosque on Hallowed Ground business is just one more example of people using God as an excuse to act like hateful assholes. The 3,000 victims of this religious warfare deserve better. They were real people with real lives and real families, not abstract concepts to be cynically used for our endless debates over the improbable and unprovable. Who cares who builds what sort of shrine where or who they pray to or how? That's private.
August 18, 2010
LIFE EXPLAINED, PART 731
Good genes and temperate habits take you only so far. Runaway dump trucks don't care how long you were supposed to live. Don't discount dumb luck.
HATEBOOK PAGES
Red State, Blue State, one-two-three! Facebook has become the new battleground in the ideological war between normal people and the neo-Neanderthals attempting to erase the Bill of Rights. The media-created issue over a proposed mosque in New York City has brought politics into the social networking website in a big, bad and mean way. Here's some verbatim excerpts from actual Facebook pages, the mangling of the English language intact, no comment needed:
Comment: "attention, the pakistani relief fund just received a bag of shit from the the widows of 9/11."
Reply: "LOL!"
Comment: "i got a great idea? america should drop whats left of its napalm stockpile on all the pakistanis who made it to the ground!!!!"
Reply: "LMAO!"
Comment: "pakistan is underwater and the United nations wants to know why the world is slow to react!!!!!!!!lol lets see maybe because most of the worlds charity comes from this region? No.....Ohh it must be that all the human rights activists are from this part of the world?I know its a nation of womens rights?I got it, it the right to free speech and vote... No.... Hmmm ohh it must be all the terrorists"
Reply: "The same went for Haiti, didn't they get a lot of charity?"
Reply (from the same person): That is, the first bits...I think they're too broke in Haiti to be terrorists."
Reply: "she dont know what shes talking about with that crap ...We have had New Orleans under water and no one gave a shit esp ARABS in any desperate situation NO ISLAMIC NATION EVER HELPED so DROWN !! This isnt about reality and we need to stop feeling sorry for people who dont give a shit about US!!! Soooooo many other horrific floodings other than there like the MIDWEST where the f is everyone from those places!!!! Feed our Hungry, Card the foriegners who dont pay Taxes and eat for free on our tax $$$$ and those who despise US GET OUT..those who feel sorry join the peace corp and stop bitching about people who dont care about OUR Children!!!! Love the USA 911 Neva $ get!!!!! One for all and all for US"
Reply: "Oh they're underwater? Hopefully there's some raw sewage mixed in there. Let's nuke them now and create a shit cloud over the whole region."
Reply (from the guy who made the original comment): "there not defenceless, look at your friends the palestinians little ali has grade a weapons training before he changes his diaper....just think were taking care of the problem before its done breast feeding"
Comment: "The 9/11 terrorists did THIS in the name of Islam. The wounds are still open and Americans are still hurting from the senseless attacks on our citizens. The ground around where the World Trade Center once stood is SACRED. If a mosque is built at "Ground Zero", it will forever be an irritant and a flashpoint for violence and mayhem. Most of us understand they're building it in a respectful way... but it just shouldn't be down there. Period."
Reply: "Fuck them ... Build it at the bottom of the Hudson..."
Reply: "God bless America"
Reply: "If you are a christian in some Muslim dominate countries under Sharia law, you are killed. Convert or die. Do not lambast me for stating a fact."
Comment: "the premier obama is now backing the mosque at ground zero, at first I didnt think it would be a major issue especially in new york ....but it seems to be pissing off the whole country .Mayor bloomberg said be quiet and get over it, i say shut the fuk up mayor and listen to the people who elected you"
Reply: "your to much.... premier obama..LOL.. you should have a column I swear!!"
Reply: "We are now a Muslim free society. Get the fuck out. That's how I'd word it. You know, so the masses understand."
Comment: "good for aRIzona This cOUntry hAs a COnstituTion, A Bill of rIghts anD Laws THat MuSt BE OBeYEd"
Reply:"WTF?"
Pretty interesting in a sad, crude way. Somewhere Shotgun Dick Cheney is trying to turn his permanent sneer into a smile and English teachers are wailing and gnashing their teeth.
Comment: "attention, the pakistani relief fund just received a bag of shit from the the widows of 9/11."
Reply: "LOL!"
Comment: "i got a great idea? america should drop whats left of its napalm stockpile on all the pakistanis who made it to the ground!!!!"
Reply: "LMAO!"
Comment: "pakistan is underwater and the United nations wants to know why the world is slow to react!!!!!!!!lol lets see maybe because most of the worlds charity comes from this region? No.....Ohh it must be that all the human rights activists are from this part of the world?I know its a nation of womens rights?I got it, it the right to free speech and vote... No.... Hmmm ohh it must be all the terrorists"
Reply: "The same went for Haiti, didn't they get a lot of charity?"
Reply (from the same person): That is, the first bits...I think they're too broke in Haiti to be terrorists."
Reply: "she dont know what shes talking about with that crap ...We have had New Orleans under water and no one gave a shit esp ARABS in any desperate situation NO ISLAMIC NATION EVER HELPED so DROWN !! This isnt about reality and we need to stop feeling sorry for people who dont give a shit about US!!! Soooooo many other horrific floodings other than there like the MIDWEST where the f is everyone from those places!!!! Feed our Hungry, Card the foriegners who dont pay Taxes and eat for free on our tax $$$$ and those who despise US GET OUT..those who feel sorry join the peace corp and stop bitching about people who dont care about OUR Children!!!! Love the USA 911 Neva $ get!!!!! One for all and all for US"
Reply: "Oh they're underwater? Hopefully there's some raw sewage mixed in there. Let's nuke them now and create a shit cloud over the whole region."
Reply (from the guy who made the original comment): "there not defenceless, look at your friends the palestinians little ali has grade a weapons training before he changes his diaper....just think were taking care of the problem before its done breast feeding"
Comment: "The 9/11 terrorists did THIS in the name of Islam. The wounds are still open and Americans are still hurting from the senseless attacks on our citizens. The ground around where the World Trade Center once stood is SACRED. If a mosque is built at "Ground Zero", it will forever be an irritant and a flashpoint for violence and mayhem. Most of us understand they're building it in a respectful way... but it just shouldn't be down there. Period."
Reply: "Fuck them ... Build it at the bottom of the Hudson..."
Reply: "God bless America"
Reply: "If you are a christian in some Muslim dominate countries under Sharia law, you are killed. Convert or die. Do not lambast me for stating a fact."
Comment: "the premier obama is now backing the mosque at ground zero, at first I didnt think it would be a major issue especially in new york ....but it seems to be pissing off the whole country .Mayor bloomberg said be quiet and get over it, i say shut the fuk up mayor and listen to the people who elected you"
Reply: "your to much.... premier obama..LOL.. you should have a column I swear!!"
Reply: "We are now a Muslim free society. Get the fuck out. That's how I'd word it. You know, so the masses understand."
Comment: "good for aRIzona This cOUntry hAs a COnstituTion, A Bill of rIghts anD Laws THat MuSt BE OBeYEd"
Reply:"WTF?"
Pretty interesting in a sad, crude way. Somewhere Shotgun Dick Cheney is trying to turn his permanent sneer into a smile and English teachers are wailing and gnashing their teeth.
August 16, 2010
LIFE EXPLAINED, PART 730
As proof that life has not become completely out of hand, the word "cheesefood" still isn't in the dictionary. Small victories count.
INTERVIEW WITH BENNY THE DEAD GUY
As a public service, bobcrespo.com from time to time offers interviews with prominent people. You can check our archives for our interviews with Mick Jagger, Willie Randolph, Satan's son, Bush The Younger, Santa Claus and others, as well as our groundbreaking sit-down with the great Elmer Fudd. Today's interview is not of a famous person, but more of the man-in-the-street variety, or more accurately, the man-in-the-casket. For the first time ever, bobcrespo.com has received permission to interview a dead person, to see what insights we can get from beyond the grave. Meet Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: So, Benny, this is it. What can you tell readers of bobcrespo.com about the service you received here at Chillum's Funeral Home?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Okay, Benny, we'll take that as a no comment, and maybe a head's up to the folks here at Chillum's. What about your funeral, Benny? Were you pleased with the turnout?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: By the expression on Benny's face, it appears there were some no-shows. Care to name names, Benny?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Very cagey, Ben. Your expression says it all, they know who they are. So tell us, are you looking forward to your dirt nap?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: You're right, Benny, that was just wrong and didn't deserve an answer. Sorry. I suppose it's difficult to contemplate eternity, even after you're dead, eh?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: You're not helping me out much here with your knowing silence, Benny, it just doesn't translate well to the written page. And your body language is just a little too subtle, pal. The readers here are expecting some insight into death. Can you help us out here?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Okay, if that's how you want to play it, fine! I'll just throw out some autosuggestions, and you twitch or somethning if it rings a bell, do nothing if I'm wrong. Here goes: Did you see God?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Okay, not yet, eh? There must be some sort of screening process before you get to meet the Big Guy. Makes sense... okay then... how about that white light we hear so much about from people with near-death experiences?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: No? I guess that death, like life, is a different experience for everyone. Try this on for size: Pearly Gates!
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Doesn't ring a bell,eh? So tell us, Benny the Dead Guy. what exactly has been your experience with death?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: What about harp music? Or is more like cellos, flutes and violins?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Don't be so coy, Roy, our readers want to know! What's it like to wake up dead?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Well, that does it, Benny The Dead Guy! If you don't want to cooperate, why didn't you just say so in the first place?
Editor's note: Well, that didn't work out as planned. Funny, Benny was all for it before he died, figuring he'd be the first one to give us all a shout out from the other side, but went all unresponsive and silent on us. Apparently something changed his mind. Wonder what that was? Until the next time, this has been an exclusive interview from bobcrespo.com with Benny The Dead Guy.
Benny The Dead Guy: What an asshole! I thought he'd never shut up and go away.
Bobcrespo.com: So, Benny, this is it. What can you tell readers of bobcrespo.com about the service you received here at Chillum's Funeral Home?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Okay, Benny, we'll take that as a no comment, and maybe a head's up to the folks here at Chillum's. What about your funeral, Benny? Were you pleased with the turnout?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: By the expression on Benny's face, it appears there were some no-shows. Care to name names, Benny?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Very cagey, Ben. Your expression says it all, they know who they are. So tell us, are you looking forward to your dirt nap?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: You're right, Benny, that was just wrong and didn't deserve an answer. Sorry. I suppose it's difficult to contemplate eternity, even after you're dead, eh?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: You're not helping me out much here with your knowing silence, Benny, it just doesn't translate well to the written page. And your body language is just a little too subtle, pal. The readers here are expecting some insight into death. Can you help us out here?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Okay, if that's how you want to play it, fine! I'll just throw out some autosuggestions, and you twitch or somethning if it rings a bell, do nothing if I'm wrong. Here goes: Did you see God?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Okay, not yet, eh? There must be some sort of screening process before you get to meet the Big Guy. Makes sense... okay then... how about that white light we hear so much about from people with near-death experiences?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: No? I guess that death, like life, is a different experience for everyone. Try this on for size: Pearly Gates!
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Doesn't ring a bell,eh? So tell us, Benny the Dead Guy. what exactly has been your experience with death?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: What about harp music? Or is more like cellos, flutes and violins?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Don't be so coy, Roy, our readers want to know! What's it like to wake up dead?
Benny The Dead Guy:
Bobcrespo.com: Well, that does it, Benny The Dead Guy! If you don't want to cooperate, why didn't you just say so in the first place?
Editor's note: Well, that didn't work out as planned. Funny, Benny was all for it before he died, figuring he'd be the first one to give us all a shout out from the other side, but went all unresponsive and silent on us. Apparently something changed his mind. Wonder what that was? Until the next time, this has been an exclusive interview from bobcrespo.com with Benny The Dead Guy.
Benny The Dead Guy: What an asshole! I thought he'd never shut up and go away.
August 15, 2010
THINGS THEY DON'T TEACH YOU IN SCHOOL
Ah, education, what a wonderful thing. ABCs, numbers, science, history, all sorts of good stuff we need to cram into our little noggins in order to prepare for life in the Big Bad World. With any luck, we can stay in school until our mid-twenties, soaking up all sorts of facts and skills to better arm ourselves in the fight for scarce jobs that characterizes life at the dawn of the 3rd millennium.
Well, kids, for those of you embarking on the adventure of your own lives, looking for jobs, significant others and places to live, here's a few tips for you, vital information even the most thorough education cannot provide. Forewarned is forearmed. Pay attention now, class:
YOU CAN FORGET ALGEBRA: Once you've left school, your algebra days are done. The only reason you were forced to learn it was to teach you to think elliptically. Most of life is solving for X, whether dealing with members of the opposite sex, trying to figure out tax forms, or wondering why why a college graduate is saying You want fries with that?" all day long.
A DEGREE IN ENGLISH IS USELESS: There's already too many English teachers, and no listing in the Want Ads that says: "Wanted - The Next Great American Novelist." Before you can tell great stories, you need to live some first. The advice here is to start drinking heavily and getting involved with unbalanced women ASAP.
YOUR FIRST APARTMENT WILL BE A DUMP: Assuming you can afford to move out of your Mom' basement, forget that spacious contemporary layout with the terrace and park view. Think rickety fifth floor walkup here, spotty plumbing, a hooker and a troubled loner living on either side of you, and a preachy, sourpuss vegan roommate.
KEEP YOUR BRIGHT IDEAS TO YOURSELF: Once you leave school, you're not in Oz anymore, Dorothy. Your imagination will not be stimulated and no one is going to ask you to write an essay about "alternative solutions" to anything. Odds are your bosses will be more interested in what you can do than what you know, and won't give a rat's ass what you think of them. Don't strain yourself looking around for the Suggestion Box, either.
THE GEEKS HAVE INHERITED THE EARTH: From Bill Gates and Steve Jobs on down to your standard irritating tech wizard, today's world is a Geek's Paradise. You can be as cool and hep and good-looking as can be, but the Geeks whose lives you made miserable in school are the ones becoming boy billionaires and dating supermodels while you jiggle the handle for twenty minutes trying to flush the toilet in your smelly 5th floor walkup.
Well, kids, for those of you embarking on the adventure of your own lives, looking for jobs, significant others and places to live, here's a few tips for you, vital information even the most thorough education cannot provide. Forewarned is forearmed. Pay attention now, class:
YOU CAN FORGET ALGEBRA: Once you've left school, your algebra days are done. The only reason you were forced to learn it was to teach you to think elliptically. Most of life is solving for X, whether dealing with members of the opposite sex, trying to figure out tax forms, or wondering why why a college graduate is saying You want fries with that?" all day long.
A DEGREE IN ENGLISH IS USELESS: There's already too many English teachers, and no listing in the Want Ads that says: "Wanted - The Next Great American Novelist." Before you can tell great stories, you need to live some first. The advice here is to start drinking heavily and getting involved with unbalanced women ASAP.
YOUR FIRST APARTMENT WILL BE A DUMP: Assuming you can afford to move out of your Mom' basement, forget that spacious contemporary layout with the terrace and park view. Think rickety fifth floor walkup here, spotty plumbing, a hooker and a troubled loner living on either side of you, and a preachy, sourpuss vegan roommate.
KEEP YOUR BRIGHT IDEAS TO YOURSELF: Once you leave school, you're not in Oz anymore, Dorothy. Your imagination will not be stimulated and no one is going to ask you to write an essay about "alternative solutions" to anything. Odds are your bosses will be more interested in what you can do than what you know, and won't give a rat's ass what you think of them. Don't strain yourself looking around for the Suggestion Box, either.
THE GEEKS HAVE INHERITED THE EARTH: From Bill Gates and Steve Jobs on down to your standard irritating tech wizard, today's world is a Geek's Paradise. You can be as cool and hep and good-looking as can be, but the Geeks whose lives you made miserable in school are the ones becoming boy billionaires and dating supermodels while you jiggle the handle for twenty minutes trying to flush the toilet in your smelly 5th floor walkup.
August 13, 2010
LIFE EXPLAINED, PART 728
The blank ID card that comes with your new wallet isn't valid in Missouri, Wisconsin, Kentucky, Guam and American Samoa, no matter how good your penmanship. It's best to go with the driver's license in these locales.
SWISS ARMY EQUIPMENT
Everybody has had a Swiss Army Knife at one time or another, that handy-dandy combo tool that's a knife, a saw, a screwdriver and can opener. Hardly a fearsome weapon, but darned useful. Not only that, it's got your basic personal grooming kit; a scissor, nail file, tooth pick and tweezers. Best of all, though, is the corkscrew. You have to figure there's a reason why the Swiss have been neutral in every war, and the wine opener that is standard issue to every Swiss soldier is a telling clue.
The Swiss Army also has an official Swiss Army cigarette lighter so Swiss soldiers can light up a smoke while enjoying their wine. True to the Swiss Army credo, the cigarette lighter has another use, doubling as a compass, to let the Swiss soldiers know where they are if they've used their corkscrew a little too much. Here is a peek at some other unique Swiss Army equipment:
Swiss Army Combo Rifle and Umbrella: A soldier's life is often a rugged one, living out in the elements in all weather and terrain. When your army never fights any wars, what's the harm in mating your weapon to reality? A dry soldier is a happy soldier.
Swiss Army Tank/Jacuzzi Spa: 30 tons of steel and chrome, the Swiss Army Tank is the home-away-from-home for her crew. That's why the Swiss have included a Jacuzzi hot tub with massage jets in their "battle" tanks. It's right next to the kitchen and behind the sauna.
Swiss Army Machine Gun/Pasta Maker: Swiss Army officers figure that their boys aren't going to be mowing down enemy combatants with their machine guns anytime soon, so they have incorporated a do-it-yourself pasta maker for soldiers homesick for Mama's cooking. Rigatoni, ziti, shells, angel hair, lasagna or linguine, there's no pasta the Swiss Army Machine Gun cannot make!
Swiss Army Helmet/Fondue Pot: The Swiss love their cheese, and a soldier on bivouac is no different. Slip out the helmet liner and the helmet is a teflon-lined fondue pot, the perfect complement to a mellow bottle of wine. Ideal for preparing a spicy bouillabaisse or boiling pasta as well.
Swiss Army Rocket Launcher/Leaf blower: Swiss people by their nature are sticklers for neatness and order, and soldiers by their training, especially Swiss soldiers, are absolutely manic about it. With no wars to fight ever, officers of the Swiss Army have to keep their men busy somehow, and all those shoulder-mounted rocket launchers that will never be fired in anger ought to be used for something. Swiss Army bases are the neatest and most beautifully landscaped military facilities in the world.
Swiss Army Jeep/Lawn Mower: See Above.
Swiss Army Fighter Jet/Crop Duster: It was decided early in its developmental stages that the 4F Conciliator would be a different sort of fighter jet, one that does combat with enemies of the nation's crops, pesky weevils and weeds. With it's speed and maneuverability, entire Alpine valleys can be dusted in no time, leaving Swiss pilots plenty of time to patrol their airspace for imaginary enemies and still be back in time to enjoy a good bottle of wine.
Swiss Army Skis: Unlike every other piece of Swiss Army gear, there's no second use for them, nor are they any different from regular skis, but Switzerland is pretty much entirely Alps, so not skiing is a Swiss person's idea of a vacation. Unfortunately, the only place to be stationed if you are in the Swiss Army is Switzerland, so the Swiss make a big deal about being the best skiing army anywhere. Other armies agree, since no one can recall any conquering armies laying waste to nations on skis, but no one has the heart to tell the Swiss.
The Swiss Army also has an official Swiss Army cigarette lighter so Swiss soldiers can light up a smoke while enjoying their wine. True to the Swiss Army credo, the cigarette lighter has another use, doubling as a compass, to let the Swiss soldiers know where they are if they've used their corkscrew a little too much. Here is a peek at some other unique Swiss Army equipment:
Swiss Army Combo Rifle and Umbrella: A soldier's life is often a rugged one, living out in the elements in all weather and terrain. When your army never fights any wars, what's the harm in mating your weapon to reality? A dry soldier is a happy soldier.
Swiss Army Tank/Jacuzzi Spa: 30 tons of steel and chrome, the Swiss Army Tank is the home-away-from-home for her crew. That's why the Swiss have included a Jacuzzi hot tub with massage jets in their "battle" tanks. It's right next to the kitchen and behind the sauna.
Swiss Army Machine Gun/Pasta Maker: Swiss Army officers figure that their boys aren't going to be mowing down enemy combatants with their machine guns anytime soon, so they have incorporated a do-it-yourself pasta maker for soldiers homesick for Mama's cooking. Rigatoni, ziti, shells, angel hair, lasagna or linguine, there's no pasta the Swiss Army Machine Gun cannot make!
Swiss Army Helmet/Fondue Pot: The Swiss love their cheese, and a soldier on bivouac is no different. Slip out the helmet liner and the helmet is a teflon-lined fondue pot, the perfect complement to a mellow bottle of wine. Ideal for preparing a spicy bouillabaisse or boiling pasta as well.
Swiss Army Rocket Launcher/Leaf blower: Swiss people by their nature are sticklers for neatness and order, and soldiers by their training, especially Swiss soldiers, are absolutely manic about it. With no wars to fight ever, officers of the Swiss Army have to keep their men busy somehow, and all those shoulder-mounted rocket launchers that will never be fired in anger ought to be used for something. Swiss Army bases are the neatest and most beautifully landscaped military facilities in the world.
Swiss Army Jeep/Lawn Mower: See Above.
Swiss Army Fighter Jet/Crop Duster: It was decided early in its developmental stages that the 4F Conciliator would be a different sort of fighter jet, one that does combat with enemies of the nation's crops, pesky weevils and weeds. With it's speed and maneuverability, entire Alpine valleys can be dusted in no time, leaving Swiss pilots plenty of time to patrol their airspace for imaginary enemies and still be back in time to enjoy a good bottle of wine.
Swiss Army Skis: Unlike every other piece of Swiss Army gear, there's no second use for them, nor are they any different from regular skis, but Switzerland is pretty much entirely Alps, so not skiing is a Swiss person's idea of a vacation. Unfortunately, the only place to be stationed if you are in the Swiss Army is Switzerland, so the Swiss make a big deal about being the best skiing army anywhere. Other armies agree, since no one can recall any conquering armies laying waste to nations on skis, but no one has the heart to tell the Swiss.
August 7, 2010
LIFE EXPLAINED, PART 727
Understanding life wouldn't be all that hard without all the lying and deceit we enjoy so much. That changes it from simple math to quantum physics.
YAWN.... ANOTHER CORPORATION CAVES TO FOREIGN CENSORS
Well, there's good news and bad news from Canada. First, the good news is that Canada is generating news of any sort. Okay, Canada, we know you're a shy country not given to flashy self-promotion like some North American nations (ahem!), but the rest of the world was thinking about checking your pulse. Everyone knows you're America Lite, which isn't such a bad thing, really.
Canada gets to unload all their pesky talented people that tend to draw a lot of attention to themselves on the USA, where that sort of thing isn't frowned upon. Our second-tier entertainer and B-list celebrity rosters are teeming with Canadians, who we're fairly certain would have enthralled and enlightened us with their unique artistic visions if Canadians were permitted to have such things.
The bad news from Canada? The Canadian telecommunications giant (now there's a phrase you don't hear everyday), RIM, the makers of the very expensive and popular (there's one that you do) Blackberry phones, just surrendered to the censors in Saudi Arabia. How very Corporate American of them!
It seems that the Saudi Thought Police had already gotten the giant internet servers to aid and abet their interception of personal computer messages, but the advent of smart phones and their e-mailing capabilities made it harder for the minions of the royal family to eavesdrop on their subjects.
Now, Blackberries aren't the only smart phone on the market, and the Saudi market is a lucrative one, so the head honchos at Blackberry surrendered the necessary codes to Saudi authorities rather than lose market share.
Blackberry's American competitors have been adept at pretending to resist censorship while cutting back room deals with tyrants and kings, so the RIM Corporation cut right to the chase and just gave it up without any tedious hand-wringing or comment, Canada style, if utter lack of style can indeed be called a style.
So that's it for news from Canada until this nation that is defined by Winter loses every event at the next Winter Olympics, even at the oddball quasi-sports like curling and ice hockey that they invented. Other than the cold fronts that blow down from there every December, you're more likely to hear Botswana mentioned in the news than Canada before then.
Canada gets to unload all their pesky talented people that tend to draw a lot of attention to themselves on the USA, where that sort of thing isn't frowned upon. Our second-tier entertainer and B-list celebrity rosters are teeming with Canadians, who we're fairly certain would have enthralled and enlightened us with their unique artistic visions if Canadians were permitted to have such things.
The bad news from Canada? The Canadian telecommunications giant (now there's a phrase you don't hear everyday), RIM, the makers of the very expensive and popular (there's one that you do) Blackberry phones, just surrendered to the censors in Saudi Arabia. How very Corporate American of them!
It seems that the Saudi Thought Police had already gotten the giant internet servers to aid and abet their interception of personal computer messages, but the advent of smart phones and their e-mailing capabilities made it harder for the minions of the royal family to eavesdrop on their subjects.
Now, Blackberries aren't the only smart phone on the market, and the Saudi market is a lucrative one, so the head honchos at Blackberry surrendered the necessary codes to Saudi authorities rather than lose market share.
Blackberry's American competitors have been adept at pretending to resist censorship while cutting back room deals with tyrants and kings, so the RIM Corporation cut right to the chase and just gave it up without any tedious hand-wringing or comment, Canada style, if utter lack of style can indeed be called a style.
So that's it for news from Canada until this nation that is defined by Winter loses every event at the next Winter Olympics, even at the oddball quasi-sports like curling and ice hockey that they invented. Other than the cold fronts that blow down from there every December, you're more likely to hear Botswana mentioned in the news than Canada before then.
GREAT, ANOTHER CRAZY WORLD LEADER. CHAVEZ GOES NUTS.
So, now THE BATSHIT CRAZY LEADERS OF DANGEROUS UNSTABLE NATIONS CLUB officially welcomes its newest member, President (for life?) of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez. Mr. Chavez, a classic South American military strong man long painted by the American media to be some sort of dire threat to Western Civilization but really wasn't, has finally gone batshit crazy. Score one for America's right wing.
While his politics aren't all that bad, he's a bullly, a ham and a showman who censors the press. Like a hundred South American dictators and presidents before him, he promised to tackle the curse of too many Latin nations, mass poverty in a land of plenty, the wealth of nations in too few hands.
Throughout history, every reform or attempted reform of this Spanish Empire leftover, the Padrone/Peon social order, has met with vehement and violent opposition, with the most Western nations condemning the reformer in question as a Communist who will destabilize the region. This knee-jerk reaction to defend the rights of "property owners" fails to address the hard realities in South America
None of these Western Nations with the big mouths share this lopsided social system anymore, not even Spain, whose last King realized how silly it was to be a king these days and closed the franchise, possibly the first sane act by a reigning monarch in a millennium. Maybe he was thinking about the legacy of oppression and enforced subservience that the Spanish monarchy left behind in her empire, places where when they finally left after hundreds of years, were still largely illiterate, superstitious and poor, toiling in the service of an educated, wealthy elite.
These are the conditions in which men like Chavez operated. The governments of many such nations are the exclusive domain of this wealthy elite, and the poor need not aply. The only avenue to power other than birth is via the military in such regimes, and Latin America has had no shortage of delusional Generalissimos adding to the misery of their nations' poverty while lining their pockets until the next Generalissimo shoots them down and does exactly the same.
No word on whether or not Hugo Chavez is embezzling some of his nation's oil billions, but on July 16, 2010, you can mark your calendar as the day he lost his friggin' mind. There's not many mad men where you can pinpoint the exact day and time they lost it, so kudos to him on that score. Might be useful data to social scientists someday, or a question in the Venezuelan version of Trivial Pursuit.
Always a Simon Bolivar buff, on that date Chavez took his obsession with the man to a whole new batshit crazy level when he had Simon Bolivar's remains exhumed and started playing with the skeletal remains, picking apart Simon Bolivar's carcass with his bare hands!
Not only that, he publicy exhorted the remains in the name of Christ to return to life! He claimed Bolivar had spoken to him, telling Chavez that he reappears every hundred years. Apparently, not one of Bolivars many talents was mathematics. Having died in 1814, he's 4 years early for his second resurrection. At any rate, no one else was privy to their private conversation.
This is Simon Bolivar we're talking about, the George Washington and Abraham Lincoln rolled into one for all of South America! Imagine an American President holding a press conference while manhandling the bones of Lincoln? That's so bizarre, it sounds like something only Hitler would do. With all the batshit crazy leaders this world has endured, it's hard to recall another remembered for corpse desecration.
This makes Ghadaffi seem less daffy, Ahmadinejad seem less mad, Putin less high falutin' and Kim Jong no as Il as all that. These guys are ecstatic now that he's joined THE BATSHIT CRAZY LEADERS OF DANGEROUS UNSTABLE NATIONS CLUB. Takes the heat of them and their unsavory behavior in their own volatile corners of the world.
But the big question is, what the hell does it feel like to be Venezuelan right now? The stunning realization that the leader of your nation has just publicly and frighteningly lost his friggin' mind has to be an unsettling feeling, to say the least. One wonders, is this an even worse feeling than having Bush The Younger as the leader of the free world, or not quite as bad as all that?
Chavez might get the "this-gives-me-the-creeps" edge here, since Dubya's handlers never let him exhume any dead bodies for sport, and everybody knew Shotgun Dick was running the show anyway. Unfortunately for Venezuelans, Chavez doesn't have a boss, and it sounds like he wants to be President of Venezuela forever with the re-animated Simon Bolivar as his Ed McMahon.
Hard to tell. Our America-centric megamedia corporations don't report all that much about Venezuela unless it's something that makes Chavez look bad. Well, now he's he given them a gift that will keep on giving, his madness. Not only that, he's given Venezuela a headache that won't go away until he does.
While his politics aren't all that bad, he's a bullly, a ham and a showman who censors the press. Like a hundred South American dictators and presidents before him, he promised to tackle the curse of too many Latin nations, mass poverty in a land of plenty, the wealth of nations in too few hands.
Throughout history, every reform or attempted reform of this Spanish Empire leftover, the Padrone/Peon social order, has met with vehement and violent opposition, with the most Western nations condemning the reformer in question as a Communist who will destabilize the region. This knee-jerk reaction to defend the rights of "property owners" fails to address the hard realities in South America
None of these Western Nations with the big mouths share this lopsided social system anymore, not even Spain, whose last King realized how silly it was to be a king these days and closed the franchise, possibly the first sane act by a reigning monarch in a millennium. Maybe he was thinking about the legacy of oppression and enforced subservience that the Spanish monarchy left behind in her empire, places where when they finally left after hundreds of years, were still largely illiterate, superstitious and poor, toiling in the service of an educated, wealthy elite.
These are the conditions in which men like Chavez operated. The governments of many such nations are the exclusive domain of this wealthy elite, and the poor need not aply. The only avenue to power other than birth is via the military in such regimes, and Latin America has had no shortage of delusional Generalissimos adding to the misery of their nations' poverty while lining their pockets until the next Generalissimo shoots them down and does exactly the same.
No word on whether or not Hugo Chavez is embezzling some of his nation's oil billions, but on July 16, 2010, you can mark your calendar as the day he lost his friggin' mind. There's not many mad men where you can pinpoint the exact day and time they lost it, so kudos to him on that score. Might be useful data to social scientists someday, or a question in the Venezuelan version of Trivial Pursuit.
Always a Simon Bolivar buff, on that date Chavez took his obsession with the man to a whole new batshit crazy level when he had Simon Bolivar's remains exhumed and started playing with the skeletal remains, picking apart Simon Bolivar's carcass with his bare hands!
Not only that, he publicy exhorted the remains in the name of Christ to return to life! He claimed Bolivar had spoken to him, telling Chavez that he reappears every hundred years. Apparently, not one of Bolivars many talents was mathematics. Having died in 1814, he's 4 years early for his second resurrection. At any rate, no one else was privy to their private conversation.
This is Simon Bolivar we're talking about, the George Washington and Abraham Lincoln rolled into one for all of South America! Imagine an American President holding a press conference while manhandling the bones of Lincoln? That's so bizarre, it sounds like something only Hitler would do. With all the batshit crazy leaders this world has endured, it's hard to recall another remembered for corpse desecration.
This makes Ghadaffi seem less daffy, Ahmadinejad seem less mad, Putin less high falutin' and Kim Jong no as Il as all that. These guys are ecstatic now that he's joined THE BATSHIT CRAZY LEADERS OF DANGEROUS UNSTABLE NATIONS CLUB. Takes the heat of them and their unsavory behavior in their own volatile corners of the world.
But the big question is, what the hell does it feel like to be Venezuelan right now? The stunning realization that the leader of your nation has just publicly and frighteningly lost his friggin' mind has to be an unsettling feeling, to say the least. One wonders, is this an even worse feeling than having Bush The Younger as the leader of the free world, or not quite as bad as all that?
Chavez might get the "this-gives-me-the-creeps" edge here, since Dubya's handlers never let him exhume any dead bodies for sport, and everybody knew Shotgun Dick was running the show anyway. Unfortunately for Venezuelans, Chavez doesn't have a boss, and it sounds like he wants to be President of Venezuela forever with the re-animated Simon Bolivar as his Ed McMahon.
Hard to tell. Our America-centric megamedia corporations don't report all that much about Venezuela unless it's something that makes Chavez look bad. Well, now he's he given them a gift that will keep on giving, his madness. Not only that, he's given Venezuela a headache that won't go away until he does.
August 3, 2010
LIFE EXPLAINED, PART 725
Even a genius has a lot to learn. Graduation Day is only the beginning of your education. Keep your eyes, your ears and your mind wide open.
UNDOING FDR'S WORK
For decades now, the people who own and run this country have been doing terrible things to 98% of their fellow Americans. That would be those of us making less than $250,000 per year, a damned comfortable living, no matter what you hear to the contrary. Anybody out there think differently? If so, raise your uncalloused, bejeweled hands. The vast majority of working people can only dream of such an annual sum, raking in a sweet million bucks every 4 years. Imagine how diligent we'd be for that kind of dough!
The Cheney Administration ratcheted up this lopsided distribution of the vast wealth of the United States when old Shotgun Dick decided that the top 2% of Americans ought not to pay their fair share of taxes, and so implemented what are facetiously referred to as "The Bush tax cuts." Bush The Younger couldn't even run his mouth. Literally. He was Rain man minus the math skills and the ability to speak coherently. America's first dictator was not satisfied with lowering the tax rate for the wealthy, but also installed a lot of free rides for them in the form of tax law loopholes big enough to drive your limousine through.
The Dictator Cheney oversaw the greatest peacetime transfer of wealth from the working classes to the wealthy in recorded history. The result is that less than 1% of Americans, the super-wealthy, now own more wealth and assets than the bottom 95% of Americans combined. He also gutted the regulatory agencies designed to police the financial industries and refused to prosecute wealthy thieves, polluters and scam artists.
Such was the atmosphere of corporate lawlessness under Cheney that the leaders of these industries engaged in reckless gambling and monumental fraud with the nation's money, culminating in the Crash of 2008, where $7 trillion in wealth simply disappeared, formerly fabulously wealthy banks and investment houses collapsed and the nation and the world was plunged into the most dire economic circumstances since the Great Depression, another debacle caused by greedy rich people.
This on top of the decades of depredations against the working classes on the part of this ownership class; shipping our jobs overseas, stealing our pension money to prop up their corrupt failures, and rolling back pay scales and hard-won benefits, sending workers ever deeper in debt to corporate interests at loan-shark rates.
Executives began taking obscene salaries, many hundreds of times greater that their average worker's annual pay, something unprecedented in business history. They grabbed huge fortunes in a single bite, year after year after year, in the form of stock options, bonuses and "golden parachutes," awarded by themselves to themselves from other people's money, just because they could.
Since the 1960's, the status and buying power of American workers has steadily declined, our education system has been neglected and underfunded, and our protections in the workplace badly eroded. The ownership class would like nothing more than to return to the America of the 1930s, when President Franklin D. Roosevelt saw "a third of a nation ill-housed, ill-clad, ill-nourished." Then he did something about it, forcing ownership to treat the workers who made them wealthy like decent, valuable human beings.
Before FDR got busy, that America had no Social Security, no 8-hour work day, no overtime pay, no worker's compensation and no unemployment insurance. During the worst economic times in America's history, Roosevelt went to bat for American workers and forced ownership to treat workers fairly by law for the first time. They were incensed of course, completely enraged that a man of wealth such as FDR would grow a conscience and a pair of balls and care about poor people, long the bread and butter of wealthy oppressors.
The bloody Labor War ownership had been waging against American workers with hired goons and State Militias was halted. The government itself employed more than a million workers in public works projects building dams, bridges, roads and national parks, for the benefit of every American, a galling thing to the ownership princes. Social Security was implemented to eliminate the almost universal impoverishment of those too old to work, providing them with a dignified retirement after a lifetime of labor building, feeding and running this nation.
Prior to FDR, the term "retirement" was not in the vocabulary of American workers. An old-age pension was a new concept to most, something formerly reserved for the well-to-do, and that's the way the ownership class liked it. They paid our American ideals lip service, of course, but preferred to live as monied royalty at the expense of the masses. Exploitation, tyranny and greed were their calling cards, then and now.
People who would send armed forces against workers demanding a living wage and safe working conditions in exchange for their honest life's labor are foul human beings, the worst sort of scoundrels. They hung on to their ownership and bided their time, waiting for their chance to undo Roosevelt's reforms. Towards that end, they acquired the major media companies and began controlling and homogenizing the flow of information.
It's no accident that nearly every media outlet reports identical stories day after day, night after night, almost word for word. For example, it is a little known fact that the recent catastrophic oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico caused by greed, expedience and unsafe conditions was nothing out of the ordinary at all, but a fairly commonplace occurrence. It was just BP's bad luck to have negligently killed 11 workers and spilled millions of barrels of oil off the coast of media-saturated America.
Tony Hayward's petulant and dismissive behavior was business as usual. How dare we interrupt his yachting weekend with our overreaction to BP's corruption and mismanagement? It's not like his summer palace had its beach fouled, it was only the drones who would suffer and die! No one in Big Media made a stink when Big Oil poisoned the once-bountiful and beautiful Gulf of Niger in Africa over many decades, killing thousands of human beings, destroying millions of livelihoods and fomenting bloody civil war in several East African nations corrupted and controlled by multinational corporations with loyalty to no nation, only to profits.
Hundreds of thousands of East Africans perished and continue to be slaughtered, starved and displaced as the price to pay for ownership finding their oil under someone else's soil. No problem, simply destabilize, corrupt, murder and pollute on a grand scale, then exploit the chaos to do as they damn well please.
This is what we do! is the unspoken reaction of the ownership class to disaster, genocide and poisoning. That's how profits are made and oil is provided for your damned SUVs and Toyotas! Not giving a rat's ass about the working classes comes as natural as grand larceny to these people. Once they decided that workers in America were a little too comfortable for their liking, and darned uppity too, they went about selling our jobs and undermining our material comfort and our personal security with a vengeance.
It was only by a whisker that The Dictator Cheney did not get to hand over our Social Security money to these greedy scumbags, a goal they have not abandoned. They're still kicking themselves and wondering if they should have bought the entire Congress instead of most of it. If and when that happens, kiss that money and any thought of a dignified retirement goodbye.
And don't get so comfortable with a free internet either, an unforeseen technical juggernaut that allows pretty much anyone to have their say, globally and in a matter of seconds. They're really pissed off that they don't own and enjoy censorship rights to the World Wide Web and are striving mightily to correct that lapse.
If China and the various Stone Age Theocracies can get the giant internet companies to knuckle under for a buck, rest assured that Big Money is doing their level best to put their boot on our necks once again, especially since we enjoy the damned thing so much. That just won't do.
Will the ownership class succeed? They've already drummed up considerable support at the grass roots level for their evil agenda, their wars, their greed and their pampered, royal lives from the very people they are hell bent on returning to 1933 and the bread lines, the soup kitchens, the epidemic of home and farm foreclosures and homelessness. They're counting on your vote, since after all, as they have repeated again and again and again, only traitors vote against them.
They have succeeded in creating a Red State vs Blue State America, a house divided against itself. They openly import millions of uneducated immigrants and hire them to replace you, and then command you to hate them, people who have only done what our forebears have, come to America to find a better life, only to have it yanked out from under them as their reward for diligence and loyalty.
Then the super-wealthy tell you that the answer is to maintain their tax cuts and surrender your rights and your dignity, and all will be well, we'll trickle down some crumbs for you to fight over like dogs under the king's banquet table. Like that ever happened. These pricks have velcro fingers and never drop a crumb!
Here's a fun fact: Mobile Oil paid no taxes to the United States Treasury last year on their $10 billion profit, and yet received a $1.1 billion tax return! How's that for new math?
Greed only wants one thing: more. Too many of us are too willing to surrender, mistakenly thinking they will be admitted to the club. Those who believe this fairy tale have two chances of that ever happening, one fat and one slim. Hopefully they will wake up while they still have the gold in their fillings and help the rest of us throw the ownership class out of our government, ensure they pay their taxes and act like law abiding citizens.
That sound you hear is FDR and those killed in the Labor Wars spinning in their graves.
The Cheney Administration ratcheted up this lopsided distribution of the vast wealth of the United States when old Shotgun Dick decided that the top 2% of Americans ought not to pay their fair share of taxes, and so implemented what are facetiously referred to as "The Bush tax cuts." Bush The Younger couldn't even run his mouth. Literally. He was Rain man minus the math skills and the ability to speak coherently. America's first dictator was not satisfied with lowering the tax rate for the wealthy, but also installed a lot of free rides for them in the form of tax law loopholes big enough to drive your limousine through.
The Dictator Cheney oversaw the greatest peacetime transfer of wealth from the working classes to the wealthy in recorded history. The result is that less than 1% of Americans, the super-wealthy, now own more wealth and assets than the bottom 95% of Americans combined. He also gutted the regulatory agencies designed to police the financial industries and refused to prosecute wealthy thieves, polluters and scam artists.
Such was the atmosphere of corporate lawlessness under Cheney that the leaders of these industries engaged in reckless gambling and monumental fraud with the nation's money, culminating in the Crash of 2008, where $7 trillion in wealth simply disappeared, formerly fabulously wealthy banks and investment houses collapsed and the nation and the world was plunged into the most dire economic circumstances since the Great Depression, another debacle caused by greedy rich people.
This on top of the decades of depredations against the working classes on the part of this ownership class; shipping our jobs overseas, stealing our pension money to prop up their corrupt failures, and rolling back pay scales and hard-won benefits, sending workers ever deeper in debt to corporate interests at loan-shark rates.
Executives began taking obscene salaries, many hundreds of times greater that their average worker's annual pay, something unprecedented in business history. They grabbed huge fortunes in a single bite, year after year after year, in the form of stock options, bonuses and "golden parachutes," awarded by themselves to themselves from other people's money, just because they could.
Since the 1960's, the status and buying power of American workers has steadily declined, our education system has been neglected and underfunded, and our protections in the workplace badly eroded. The ownership class would like nothing more than to return to the America of the 1930s, when President Franklin D. Roosevelt saw "a third of a nation ill-housed, ill-clad, ill-nourished." Then he did something about it, forcing ownership to treat the workers who made them wealthy like decent, valuable human beings.
Before FDR got busy, that America had no Social Security, no 8-hour work day, no overtime pay, no worker's compensation and no unemployment insurance. During the worst economic times in America's history, Roosevelt went to bat for American workers and forced ownership to treat workers fairly by law for the first time. They were incensed of course, completely enraged that a man of wealth such as FDR would grow a conscience and a pair of balls and care about poor people, long the bread and butter of wealthy oppressors.
The bloody Labor War ownership had been waging against American workers with hired goons and State Militias was halted. The government itself employed more than a million workers in public works projects building dams, bridges, roads and national parks, for the benefit of every American, a galling thing to the ownership princes. Social Security was implemented to eliminate the almost universal impoverishment of those too old to work, providing them with a dignified retirement after a lifetime of labor building, feeding and running this nation.
Prior to FDR, the term "retirement" was not in the vocabulary of American workers. An old-age pension was a new concept to most, something formerly reserved for the well-to-do, and that's the way the ownership class liked it. They paid our American ideals lip service, of course, but preferred to live as monied royalty at the expense of the masses. Exploitation, tyranny and greed were their calling cards, then and now.
People who would send armed forces against workers demanding a living wage and safe working conditions in exchange for their honest life's labor are foul human beings, the worst sort of scoundrels. They hung on to their ownership and bided their time, waiting for their chance to undo Roosevelt's reforms. Towards that end, they acquired the major media companies and began controlling and homogenizing the flow of information.
It's no accident that nearly every media outlet reports identical stories day after day, night after night, almost word for word. For example, it is a little known fact that the recent catastrophic oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico caused by greed, expedience and unsafe conditions was nothing out of the ordinary at all, but a fairly commonplace occurrence. It was just BP's bad luck to have negligently killed 11 workers and spilled millions of barrels of oil off the coast of media-saturated America.
Tony Hayward's petulant and dismissive behavior was business as usual. How dare we interrupt his yachting weekend with our overreaction to BP's corruption and mismanagement? It's not like his summer palace had its beach fouled, it was only the drones who would suffer and die! No one in Big Media made a stink when Big Oil poisoned the once-bountiful and beautiful Gulf of Niger in Africa over many decades, killing thousands of human beings, destroying millions of livelihoods and fomenting bloody civil war in several East African nations corrupted and controlled by multinational corporations with loyalty to no nation, only to profits.
Hundreds of thousands of East Africans perished and continue to be slaughtered, starved and displaced as the price to pay for ownership finding their oil under someone else's soil. No problem, simply destabilize, corrupt, murder and pollute on a grand scale, then exploit the chaos to do as they damn well please.
This is what we do! is the unspoken reaction of the ownership class to disaster, genocide and poisoning. That's how profits are made and oil is provided for your damned SUVs and Toyotas! Not giving a rat's ass about the working classes comes as natural as grand larceny to these people. Once they decided that workers in America were a little too comfortable for their liking, and darned uppity too, they went about selling our jobs and undermining our material comfort and our personal security with a vengeance.
It was only by a whisker that The Dictator Cheney did not get to hand over our Social Security money to these greedy scumbags, a goal they have not abandoned. They're still kicking themselves and wondering if they should have bought the entire Congress instead of most of it. If and when that happens, kiss that money and any thought of a dignified retirement goodbye.
And don't get so comfortable with a free internet either, an unforeseen technical juggernaut that allows pretty much anyone to have their say, globally and in a matter of seconds. They're really pissed off that they don't own and enjoy censorship rights to the World Wide Web and are striving mightily to correct that lapse.
If China and the various Stone Age Theocracies can get the giant internet companies to knuckle under for a buck, rest assured that Big Money is doing their level best to put their boot on our necks once again, especially since we enjoy the damned thing so much. That just won't do.
Will the ownership class succeed? They've already drummed up considerable support at the grass roots level for their evil agenda, their wars, their greed and their pampered, royal lives from the very people they are hell bent on returning to 1933 and the bread lines, the soup kitchens, the epidemic of home and farm foreclosures and homelessness. They're counting on your vote, since after all, as they have repeated again and again and again, only traitors vote against them.
They have succeeded in creating a Red State vs Blue State America, a house divided against itself. They openly import millions of uneducated immigrants and hire them to replace you, and then command you to hate them, people who have only done what our forebears have, come to America to find a better life, only to have it yanked out from under them as their reward for diligence and loyalty.
Then the super-wealthy tell you that the answer is to maintain their tax cuts and surrender your rights and your dignity, and all will be well, we'll trickle down some crumbs for you to fight over like dogs under the king's banquet table. Like that ever happened. These pricks have velcro fingers and never drop a crumb!
Here's a fun fact: Mobile Oil paid no taxes to the United States Treasury last year on their $10 billion profit, and yet received a $1.1 billion tax return! How's that for new math?
Greed only wants one thing: more. Too many of us are too willing to surrender, mistakenly thinking they will be admitted to the club. Those who believe this fairy tale have two chances of that ever happening, one fat and one slim. Hopefully they will wake up while they still have the gold in their fillings and help the rest of us throw the ownership class out of our government, ensure they pay their taxes and act like law abiding citizens.
That sound you hear is FDR and those killed in the Labor Wars spinning in their graves.
August 1, 2010
LIFE EXPLAINED, PART 724
Everyone dies, but not everyone gets to live a full life. Live hard and joyful for those who didn't make it, and keep them always in your heart.
GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
Editor's note: There are few more horrific things than war. Accounts of battles by those who survived them are especially heartbreaking. Men who were young, optimistic and full of joy, thinking only of their sweethearts and the grand sweep of life in front of them, suddenly finding themselves in the hell that is war, so often seem baffled at the turn of events that landed them in the raging inferno of death and destruction. Their humility and reverence for human life is as moving as it is unexpected. Great big men, hardened and grown old before their time, men who performed heroic deeds and witnessed horrors thankfully spared most of us, are rarely braggarts or aggressively macho men, and so often show a sweet, vulnerable tenderness for their fallen comrades that can bring tears to the most jaundiced eye. Having never been a soldier, I can only wonder what that is like, how monumentally powerful must be their emotions, their experiences and their seared memories. No one approves of war or ever wants to fight one, yet ordinary boys have been fighting them since the beginning of civilization. I wrote this song to try to make some sense of this cruel reality, wanting it to be over forever. One of these days I'll get around to recording it, but for now let me share these words and remember these boys:
GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
words & music R.R. Crespo
YOUNG, SO PROUD AND GRAVE
SO VERY CLEAR OF HEART AND MIND
TALL, AND STRONG AND BRAVE
THEY LEAVE THEIR MOTHERS' LOVE BEHIND
TRUE, THEY MARCH TO WAR
THEY MUST DEFEND THEIR NATION'S PRIDE
LIKE THOSE THAT MARCHED BEFORE
THEY KNOW THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
OLD, AND VERY WISE
A GENERAL STANDS ON SOLDIERS' TRUST
PAIN, SHOWS IN HIS EYES
HE TELLS HIS MEN OUR CAUSE IS JUST
FIGHT, AND GLORY'S YOURS
AND IF YOU FALL, YOU FALL WITH PRIDE
LIKE THOSE WHO FELL BEFORE
WE KNOW THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
MAMA DON'T YOU CRY
YOU KNOW THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
AND IF I AM TO DIE
THE LORD WILL TAKE ME TO HIS SIDE
SO MAMA DON'T YOU CRY
LOVE, AND TEARS OF QGE
FILL UP A MOTHER'S HEART AND EYES
WHY, MUST WARS WE WAGE
WHY MUST A MOTHER ALWAYS CRY
WHY, THE GRAND PARADES
THE COLORED FLAGS, THE FOOLISH PRIDE
ALL THE DAYS WE PRAYED
WE PRAY THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
MAMA DON'T YOU CRY
YOU KNOW THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
AND IF I AM TO DIE
THE LORD WILL TAKE ME TO HIS SIDE
SO MAMA DON'T YOU CRY
BOLD, THE CANNON BLOWS
A THOUSAND MILES FROM HOME SWEET HOME
RED, THE RIVER FLOWS
A THOUSAND BOYS DIE ALL ALONE
GONE, A THOUSAND DREAMS
A THOUSAND OCEANS DEEP AND WIDE
AND IN THEIR FINAL SCREAMS
THEY PRAY THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
MAMA DON'T YOU CRY
YOU KNOW THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
AND IF I AM TO DIE
THE LORD WILL TAKE ME TO HIS SIDE
SO MAMA DON'T YOU CRY
GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
words & music R.R. Crespo
YOUNG, SO PROUD AND GRAVE
SO VERY CLEAR OF HEART AND MIND
TALL, AND STRONG AND BRAVE
THEY LEAVE THEIR MOTHERS' LOVE BEHIND
TRUE, THEY MARCH TO WAR
THEY MUST DEFEND THEIR NATION'S PRIDE
LIKE THOSE THAT MARCHED BEFORE
THEY KNOW THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
OLD, AND VERY WISE
A GENERAL STANDS ON SOLDIERS' TRUST
PAIN, SHOWS IN HIS EYES
HE TELLS HIS MEN OUR CAUSE IS JUST
FIGHT, AND GLORY'S YOURS
AND IF YOU FALL, YOU FALL WITH PRIDE
LIKE THOSE WHO FELL BEFORE
WE KNOW THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
MAMA DON'T YOU CRY
YOU KNOW THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
AND IF I AM TO DIE
THE LORD WILL TAKE ME TO HIS SIDE
SO MAMA DON'T YOU CRY
LOVE, AND TEARS OF QGE
FILL UP A MOTHER'S HEART AND EYES
WHY, MUST WARS WE WAGE
WHY MUST A MOTHER ALWAYS CRY
WHY, THE GRAND PARADES
THE COLORED FLAGS, THE FOOLISH PRIDE
ALL THE DAYS WE PRAYED
WE PRAY THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
MAMA DON'T YOU CRY
YOU KNOW THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
AND IF I AM TO DIE
THE LORD WILL TAKE ME TO HIS SIDE
SO MAMA DON'T YOU CRY
BOLD, THE CANNON BLOWS
A THOUSAND MILES FROM HOME SWEET HOME
RED, THE RIVER FLOWS
A THOUSAND BOYS DIE ALL ALONE
GONE, A THOUSAND DREAMS
A THOUSAND OCEANS DEEP AND WIDE
AND IN THEIR FINAL SCREAMS
THEY PRAY THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
MAMA DON'T YOU CRY
YOU KNOW THAT GOD IS ON OUR SIDE
AND IF I AM TO DIE
THE LORD WILL TAKE ME TO HIS SIDE
SO MAMA DON'T YOU CRY
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