The boss of all bosses of the Hole In The Head Gang currently in charge of the United States government, Shotgun Dick Cheney, today proves once again why he is running the country. Amid all the hand-wringing over global warming and the threats of all the greenhouse gases being emitted by American industries, good Shotgun Dick has come up with a novel approach to all the damning testimony from the Center For Disease Control (CDC) given in Congressional hearings. Delete it from the congressional records! Brilliant! Like it never happened.
Cheney figures that these deletions will make it more difficult to regulate carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gas emissions. Since he took over the reins of government in the year 2000, Shotgun Dick has been steadfast in his reluctance to regulate any industry, or to inconvenience the wealthy in any way at all, such as imposing taxes on them. Regulating the industries they own would be very un-Cheney-like, and once again the man has proven himself to be a model of consistency in a fickle world. Let the CDC suck the exhaust fumes from the motorized parts that keep him functioning!
Sure, he let Georgie Boy attend the G-8 summit and talk to the other 7 wealthy nations about reducing toxic emissions, but he wouldn't allow him to commit to a damned thing. His response: "Let the Japs do it, with their paper houses and raw fish. This is America, Incorporated, dammit, and anybody who counts has at least 5 giant houses to heat! That means 5 swimming pools, 5 sets of central air conditioners, 5 sets of big cars, and 5 sets of peasant servants to feed. To say nothing of the private jet and its crew. Those babies don't run on solar power!"
So let Bush The Younger pretend he's the boss. Let him dress up in cowboy hats and fly boy costumes all he wants. Shotgun Dick has no qualms about being perceived as Georgie Boy's subordinate. He's even smarter than Michael Corleone. Instead of killing the bumbling security risk Fredo, he sets him up as the paper Don. He knew full well that Georgie Boy would make a laughing stock of himself with his tongue-tied buffoonerey, and that perception played right into his hands. While everybody was busy not taking Bush the Younger seriously, Shotgun Dick cut taxes to the rich, started an illegal war to steal oil for his buddies and attempted to dismantle the Bill of Rights with some success. Joke's on us, eh?
He even outwitted Karl Rove, who thought his power was secure as consigliere to Bush The Younger, then let him hang out to dry when the subpoenas started flying. Guess who's pounding the pavement now and searching for a good attorney and who's still sitting in the cat bird's seat? That was an even better lesson than shooting him in the face with his ever-present lupara (Sicilian for shotgun). Good old Shotgun Dick has outmaneuvered them all and pretty soon he'll retire even wealthier than when he took over. And you just know that Fredo will get all the blame for Cheney's crimes. While Georgie Boy is being hounded for running the worst and most corrupt American administration ever, good old Dick will be getting fitted with more spare parts than a 1983 Oldsmobile. We all look forward to his trademark sneer for many years to come. God Bless Shotgun Dick!
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