IN THE NEWS AGAIN: OH, CANADA! WHAT GIVES?

Canada makes headlines! That should be news in and of itself, but a closer examination of why they made the news bursts the bubble of anyone hoping for anything exciting to happen there. It seems that a magazine up there in the frozen north offended some people a couple of years ago and is being sued by those offended. The case has now worked it's way up the ladder to something called The British Colombia Human Rights Tribunal. Unlike Americans, Canadians don't have a First Amendment guaranteeing them freedom of speech. And unlike Canada, in America every courtroom is the guardian of human rights, no special tribunals needed.

McLean's magazine printed an article about Islam by Mark Steyn that dared to criticize that backward woman-imprisoning religion and actually make fun of it. And to make matters worse, Canada-wise, the article contained much tongue-in-cheek irony and was dripping with sarcasm. Canadian Government engineers are working feverishly to determine just how far over Canadian heads this article went. And apparently the Muslims who reside in Canada are sufficiently assimilated to western ways to bring a lawsuit on some very thin legal arguments, pulling out the old reliable race card, even though Islam is not an ethnic or racial identification, but a religion, where by definition people are a part it by choice. Still, Canada has chosen to take this frivolous law suit seriously, lest anybody think of them as less than fair.

Canadians are not what you might call a confrontational people. It would seem their main goal in life is not to offend anybody, whereas in America it often seems that our national pastime is to offend everybody, or at least reserve the right to do so. While many people think of Canada as America-Lite, they actually do have their own national identity, or rather, lack of identity. And they guard this national anonymity zealously. Controversy and contentiousness are frowned upon, and the current controversy before five Canadian judges is a test of how to maintain that lack of controversy, but don't tell a Canadian how ironic that is, they just won't get it.

This is a nation uncomfortable in the spotlight, embarrassed to express an opinion that goes against the status quo. And if that means abridging the right to free speech in order to avoid offending anyone, then so be it. Sad, but true. Islam, one of the largest religions on earth with well over a billion adherents, doesn't live or die on the opinion of a Canadian magazine. Unlike predominantly Muslim countries that outlaw and oppress other faiths, in western societies there is freedom of religion. Sometimes that means the freedom to get made fun of too. Ask the Catholic Church, fair game for just about everybody when it comes to poking fun at or angrily condemning religions. Muslims will just have to learn to get over it like everyone else.

There's nothing special about Islam that makes them immune to criticism or jokes. A whole lot of Muslims don't mind calling the rest of the world godless infidels worthy of only death and spewing endless mouthfuls of hate at the top of their lungs. A joke or two from them would be welcome, but Islam seems to be a faith woefully short on laughs. The Canadian magazine article didn't suggest anything even approaching physical harm or hatred for any Muslims. The writer may have been bitingly funny and sarcastic, but hey, he's Canadian, and Canadians would rather give up ice hockey than threaten anybody with bodily harm or preach hatred towards them. But threats, intimidation, terrorism, suicide attacks, war and brutal oppression are prominent features of today's Islam, perhaps explaining the singular lack of Muslim humor and all those grim facial expressions. Those are the irrefutable facts, and if pointing that out hurts some feelings, too bad.

If you don't like being associated with a religion that condones those things, either drop the religion or get to work to change it. How about some prominent Muslims condemning all the butchery done in the name of their precious faith? Don't shoot the damned messenger, fool, get the message! There's a reason many Muslims have settled in Canada. There they have the right to practice any form of Islam they please in that mellow nation and nobody's chopping their heads off, sending them to prison or bombing their mosques. That can't be said about a great many Muslim nations. So now what they are saying is that a Canadian writer can't point out the shortcomings of the homelands these people fled with their families, leaving home because of those intolerable shortcomings?

Canadian Muslims want it both ways. The magazine is being sued for promoting "hate speech," demanding a published apology by McLean's and monetary compensation for aggrieved Muslims. What, nobody can question religions? Religions have historically been the worst offenders when it comes to promoting hatred and warfare, all in the name of their cockamamie fairy tales that make no sense whatsoever. Any religion, not just Islam. We all have our faith and to many of us it's very important, but at some point you've go to be an adult about it and realize that if you can believe in one sort of fairy tale, let the other guy believe in his and we'll call it even.

If he makes fun of your fairy tale, so what? His religion is no better in the logic department than yours. That's why it's called faith and not fact. You can make fun of his if you like to waste your time with that sort of thing. But maybe not in Canada. Our dull but sane northern neighbor may be losing its "Beacon of Sanity" label soon if the British Colombia Human Rights Tribunal finds McLean's Magazine guilty. That will be the cue for even more talented Canadians to come to America to work. And just maybe that's the Canadian plan, to encourage all the creative and interesting people to leave. You just never know when one of them might attract undue attention by saying something controversial. Of course they'd never ask them to leave, that would be rude, very un-Canadian and a prime example of offensive speech.