THE WONDER OF IT ALL

Some things are hard to understand, so you wonder. Here's a few things I've been pondering:

TV's Doctor Phil makes 30 million dollars a year. I wonder how much he would earn if he had a personality or something interesting to say. Probably Bill Gates money.

Does the Chinese government think that their hosting the Summer Olympics will change the world's opinion of their tyrannical rule? Just wondering.

Tibet is called "The Roof of the World." Parts of Nepal actually have a higher elevation, the highest on earth, but it is a small nation compared to Tibet. Does that make Nepal "The Pigeon Coop of the World?"

And speaking of Nepal, the guy who hopes to be the new president of Nepal, the single named Prachanda, declares that his new government will be in the vanguard of worldwide resurgence of Communism. One wonders whether he got the memo about worldwide Communism going broke and being mostly out of business.

Has anyone heard from Canada lately? It's still there, right? After they kicked their baseball team out a couple of years ago, no word from our northern neighbors. No post cards, calls or e-mails. Have they all come to America to be newscasters and actors? Who's minding the maple trees? What are the Mounties up to? Just wondering.

Is there anything scarier than all those Botox faces on celebrities? If one didn't know about the Botox you'd swear these people were taken over by alien life forms unable to mimic human facial expressions. Or maybe Botox is simply a cover story for an alien takeover of show business. That would explain the all the reality sows and the weird sitcoms filled with people and situations that almost but not quite seem to be human. I'd propose a blue ribbon panel headed by Joan Rivers and Kenny Rogers to study the situation, but you just know they'd say nothing has changed, remain in your homes, do not attempt to resist and pay no attention to that little man behind he curtain.

What are the early betting odds on the Synchronized Swimming competition at this summer's Olympic Games? It seems the bookmakers in Las Vegas are missing the boat on all the wagering action that sport generates. Perhaps the London bookies have posted the odds. Just wondering.

Microsoft has given up its quest to buy Yahoo for 47.5 billion dollars. I wonder if Bill Gates is disappointed or if he decided to buy France instead.