Maybe it's not such a small world after all. Deep in the Amazon rain forest in Brazil a previously unknown tribe has been discovered. So far the only contact has been limited to two fly-overs and a couple of photographs. In one photograph there are two men painted red shooting arrows at the airplane to drive it away while a woman who is painted black cheers them on. The name of the tribe, the language they speak and the religion they follow are mysteries. Not for long, though. Their lives will be completely ruined before the year is out.
Scientists, linguists, missionaries and government officials will be all over these people like white on rice pretty soon. Television crews are probably bulldozing a road to their settlement as we speak in order to entertain the world at the expense of their culture. They'll be wearing National Geographic T-shirts and baseball caps in no time. Brazil, being a Catholic country, will probably subject them to the inhumane torture of having to listen to the inane rantings of earnest young priests eager to save their souls.
Usually when this happens, the indigenous tribes sensibly cling to their own worship of celestial turtles spawning humanity rather than trying to wrap their minds around virgin birth, miracles, resurrection and a vast array of annoying saints whose lives no one wants to imitate. They will, however, accept those fancy crucifixes the priests hand out. You sharpen those bad boys and you've got yourself a handy little tool for skinning the animals they sacrifice to the celestial turtles.
They'll also welcome the doctors and scientists and the neat things they bring. Those electrical wires come in handy to tie up bundles of firewood. Their laptop computers make nifty targets for bow and arrow practice, and the metal they contain can then be used to make arrowheads. The medical bags of the doctors are chock full of neat little implements to be converted to fishing gear, food preparation tools and body decorations. Those steel bed pans make great cooking utensils too.
As far as the rest of what the world has to offer these people, well, once they get the drift of what people have actually done with the rest of the world, odds are they'll move even deeper into the Amazon to avoid us. A couple of viewings of "The Apprentice" or any show on Fox News ought to do the trick. Odds are the next time outsiders visit their settlement after the rainy season they'll find a deserted site with only a crude statue made out of the trash the camera crews left behind of a big human hand with its middle finger extended.
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