BUSH THE YOUNGER: APPEASER-IN-CHIEF

Okay, now Bush The Younger, so stupid that he does his farewell tour in the Middle East, the site of the greatest failures of his completely failed presidency, goes on record as comparing Barack Obama to NevIlle Chamberlain. As everybody knows, or should know, Chamberlain was the failed Prime Minister of England who attempted to appease Adolph Hitler before the onset of World War 2. For a hint as to how that turned out, check out the History Channel's riveting new series about the frequent serious lapses in judgement by world leaders: "What The Hell Was I Thinking?" Bush The Younger was referring to Senator Obama's willingness to negotiate with our enemies before sending our armed forces into battle, a step in the process ignored by our mildly retarded president.

Well, at least Senator Obama doesn't walk around kissing and holding hands with representatives of one of the world's foremost tyrannies like a couple of same-sex high school sweethearts. That would be Bush The Younger and the long-gowned princes of Saudi Arabia he frequently entertains in the White House and at his ranch in Texas. Saudi Arabia, in case nobody noticed, supplied 15 of the 19 hijackers for the 9/11/2001 attacks on New York and Washington, D.C. Saudi Arabia provides millions, if not billions to fund world-wide terrorism and their own radical interpretation of Islam. Saudi Arabia also provided the world with one Osama bin Laden, the famous killer and video star whose family has been in business with the Bush family for generations. Saudi Arabia is widely regarded as one of the most repressive regimes on the planet, but apologists and appeasers refer to their rule as "conservative." Conservative? That's like calling Adolph Hitler "irritable." And these are Bush The Younger's asshole buddies, the Saudi Royal family.

Never does a discouraging word about these pampered silk-robed monsters escape his lips, never does it cross his addled mind that this is not the sort of nation the world's leading democracy ought to be embracing, literally or figuratively. Which is not to say that no dialogue should be undertaken with this enemy of humanity. Sending soldiers in anywhere must be the last, worst resort in any conflict of interest. Neville Chamberlain was wrong not because he spoke to the Nazis, but because he capitulated. The British at that juncture were negotiating from strength and Hitler's position was comparatively weak. The allied French and British armed forces at that moment in time were superior to Germany's and could have easily enforced the will of their respective leaders in regard to Hitler's military adventures in Europe. World War 2 was not written in stone until Britain and France relaxed after handing Hitler a huge propaganda victory and turning a blind eye to his war plans.

Sometimes negotiating, especially from a position of overwhelming strength, is merely a warning to upstart warlords to back off or face the music, that music being the whistling of bombs and bullets. Negotiations with Hamas or Hezbolla or Saudi Arabia for that matter won't be anything approaching a level playing field. And sometimes the opposition is not even threatened with the outcome of invasion or war. No need. One needs only to threaten to fund, arm and train the warlord's enemies who would be more than happy to annihilate them just for the fun of it. That sort of thing has been going on since even before Machiavelli wrote it into textbook form in "The Prince."

Cynical? Manipulative? You bet. But that is the world of international hardball diplomacy, a down and dirty skill requiring brains and balls, two qualities Bush The Younger lacks. Don't forget, this was the guy who deserted his military post during the Vietnam War, a stateside National Guard position in which he was in no danger at all. Also the guy who can't put two coherent sentences together. So expecting him to understand much of anything more challenging than clearing brush from the prairie is asking a bit much of the man, especially in the complex and treacherous arena of international relations. Hardball is best left to Major Leaguers, not spoiled rich boys who have failed at everything they were handed on a silver platter, including the presidency.

Let the new president, whoever it may be, think first, talk second and shoot later. Much later, if at all. And let the new president appease no one, like Bush has done with the Saudis. How do the appeased treat appeasers? As door mats. With the U.S. economy tanking, Bush visited the Saudis this week hat in hand to beg them to raise oil production to relieve record high global oil prices. Of course they turned him down flat, having long regarded him with contempt as a sandal-licking sychophant. Let our new president help us wash the taste of the Great Appeaser Bush The Younger from our mouths. And let that person be addressed as President Obama.